


Not Today

by Badi_otaku



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nightmares, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badi_otaku/pseuds/Badi_otaku
Summary: A nightmare wakes you up in the middle of the night.





	Not Today

_You couldn’t take it anymore. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, closing your eyes, hoping you could stop his unbearable, incessant screaming. But nothing would do, no matter what you tried, you couldn’t do anything but endure his pain with him, and it broke your heart._

_You were forced to open your eyes again, to watch him squirm in the chair, his mouth wide open, his eyes bulging and bloodshot with pain and sheer panic. His muscles contracted repeatedly, turning him into a helpless, convulsing piece of meat. Barely human._

_At last, without you doing anything, everything stopped. Everything but the frantic heartbeat in your chest. The machine let go of his trembling body as he tried to catch his breath, looking down, staring into space. You stepped towards him, your stomach sinking when his eyes snapped up to look right back at you. Icy blue orbs empty of all emotion. No longer human._

You woke up with a start, staring at the ceiling above you for a second before bursting into tears, fear and confusion still flowing through your veins. You couldn’t move and you couldn’t stop crying even when you tried to convince yourself all this was just a dream. But your heart knew it wasn’t just a dream, it was the past -your past.

You kept staring at the ceiling for a minute, the streetlights outside your apartment casting a yellowish glow into the room, highlighting every little crack in the white paint. This soothed you a little and you managed to get a slight grip on your emotions. You swallowed as the lump in your throat still hadn’t disappeared and turned to the side in your bed, hoping you could find comfort in your lover’s arms. But instead you found nothing, just empty, cold sheets.

Panic seized you again and you sat up, looking around the dimly lit room, finding no one. Your heartbeat accelerated again as adrenaline started pumping through your veins. You tossed the bedsheets aside and sat on the edge of your soft mattress, shivering as your feet touched the carpet underneath.

“Bucky?” you called quietly, your voice trembling with fear. Usually, you would always find him beside you when you woke up, even when he would wake up in the middle of the night and fail to go back to sleep, he would stay in bed, watching you sleep peacefully with a loving gaze and a sweet smile. But not tonight.

You got up, tugging at the hem of your tank top to adjust the fabric that had bunched around your waist and started making your way to your bedroom door, the only sound you could hear being the floorboard cracking and whining under your steps. The door was open, as usual and you slowly stepped in the threshold, resting your right hand on the wooden frame and leaning forwards to peek into the small hallway. Once again, you found no one.

You exited the room and silently headed to the living room, walking close to the wall to your right. You stepped into the larger room, looking around again, analyzing every sound and every object, looking for something unusual.

The soft rumble of the fridge in the open kitchen filled whole room, the green lights on the stove reading 3:24 a.m. The yellow gleam of street lamps penetrated into the room through the bow window, providing you with enough light to outline your furniture and each object present here; from the old arm chair in the corner to the remote on the coffee table.

No one was here either, and you didn’t know if you should feel relieved, or even more scared. If Bucky wasn’t here, who knows where he could’ve gone. If something had woke him up in the middle of the night again, he could’ve simply gone out for a walk, just to clear his mind. Or he could’ve lost it again. That was what terrified you. What if he lost it again? What if he hurt more people?

Squeezing your eyes shut for a second, you tried to suppress these thoughts, pushing them to the back of your mind and focusing on the present moment.

You let out a shaky breath, slowly turning around to look back at your bedroom door. Your eyes then skimmed the small hallway, finding the door across from it, the one that led into the bathroom. It was open, as usual, and the lights were off. He wasn’t here either.

Your gaze then fell onto the door that was directly in front of you and you swallowed as you started making your way towards it. Your feet thudded softly on the floor as you walked silently, your heart still racing and your breath still caught inside your throat.

You came to a halt in front of the closed door, slowly extending a hand to grip the knob. Your heart kept thumping inside your chest, making you feel out of breath. This was your last chance.

Inhaling slowly, trying to toss the images of your nightmare aside, you slowly started turning the door knob, making the latch click softly as the door opened partly to a dark room. You leaned forwards slightly, peeking inside the room.

Even with this little light, your eyes could still make out the shape of the crib put against the wall on your right. You shuddered, taking a hesitant step forward, taking a closer look at the piece of furniture, expecting to find your daughter sleeping soundly in it.

And your heart stopped beating altogether when you found an empty crib instead. You knitted your brows and covered your mouth with your hand when tears of utter panic started stinging your eyes. You looked around the room as your breath went frantic until the sight you came upon soothed your fears and softened your features.

You dropped your hand and your lips curled into a sweet smile. You started breathing again as you stared at your baby girl, sleeping peacefully on her father’s naked chest, held securely by his strong arms as he himself was sleeping, slumped on the armchair placed in the corner of the room, dressed in his night sweatpants, his messy dark hair all over his face.

You watched the scene for a minute, taking in the steady movement of his chest as it went up and down in rhythm with his breathing, rocking your daughter gently as she lay on her stomach, her chubby cheek pressed against his warm skin and her tiny hands gripping and tugging lightly at the curly hairs on his chest.

You took in a deep breathe, relief taking over your whole body as you closed your eyes. Your family was safe. You were safe.

Opening your eyes again, you slowly stepped forward, stopping in front of the two loves of your life, staring some more, listening to the soft snoring of your lover. You then bent over, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. You kissed your daughter as well before pulling away reluctantly, telling yourself it would be best to let them get some more sleep.

You turned around and made your way to the door, looking back at your family one last time before exiting the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind you. You went back inside your room, laying down in your bed. Your heart was beating fast again, not because you were afraid, but because you were happy, and so incredibly in love.

And that was it. You had to let go of the ghosts of your past and just live for the present moment, and all the future ones. Sure, you would have other nightmares, and your sleep would be disturbed with painful reminiscences of your past. But you knew they would only be dreams, and that when you would wake up, you would always find someone by your side.

You would always open your eyes to find, staring right back at you, a pair of bright blue eyes… or two.


End file.
